Learning About God

I went to the library today and returned some movies we borrowed.  I also checked out two books that were on hold for me.

Radical: Taking back your faith from the American Dream

The Harbinger: The ancient mystery that holds the secret of America's future


I am looking forward to reading both of these books.  I started a chapter on Radical and really want to get through it.







I also purchased three books from amazon.

The Glory Within: The Interior Life and the Power of Speaking in Tongues  

Angels Are for Real    

How to Walk in the Supernatural Power of God       




All good reading, and looking forward to them all.

Filling Your Spirit

Browsing Sid Roth's website tonight.  The radio program is called Messianic Vision, and he also has a television program called It's Supernatural.

First I was listening to Corey Russell, he was talking about the Holy Spirit.

And now I'm watching Judith MacNutt, she has an anointing to see angels, and has a healing ministry. 

Words to Music

A few songs... 

King and Country - The Proof of Your Love

City on a Hill - God of Wonders

 

Casting Crowns - Courageous

 

Kari Jobe - We Are

 

Jason Gray - Remind Me Who I Am 

Aaron Shust - My Hope Is In You

 

Sunny Sunday's

Had a great day with the kids at church.  We go to The Freedom Center.  We sang a new song last week, and I couldn't remember it.  But we sang it again, and finally I remembered enough to find it on YouTube.

I really like this song. 

We visited an old friend of mine.  I knew her when I was a teen.  It really was nice visiting her today.

:)  We'll be seeing her again. 

Loving The Flowers

The kids and I went to Bordine's.

Before we headed over to Bordine's we ate some hot fudge sundaes from mcdonalds.  The kids told me it was the best ice cream ever!  We all enjoyed it, as always.

So we went to Bordine's. 

Very pretty flowers all over the nursery.

The had so many different kinds if climbing plants.

The kids (and I) were amazed by the boxes of water.  The had so many different kinds of plants in the boxes. 

 Rows and rows of trees, bushes, and shrubs.

 

Everything was so beautiful.  Today was suppose to be stormy, but there were still a lot of people at the nursery.  It wasn't that sunny either.

The kids even got to play!

Buying

Yesterday, I went to Walmart and bought a blender.

I debated for awhile.  Wondering if I should wait until next month to buy it, or to just get it out of the way and buy it now.  The one I really wanted was so shiny and pretty, but had a really pricey tag on it. 

So......

I bought the Hamilton Beach Single Serve Blender with Travel Lid.  It was $15.92 (at least that is it is on the website, I don't exactly remember how much I paid for it... bad I know).

Cute right?  Well, the pink stuff inside didn't come with it.  I was a little worried that it wouldn't be powerful for the grinding.  But it works perfectly. 

So I've been making a lot of smoothies.  Today I bought some more fruit and yogurt.  I also bought some wheat germ and grounded flaxseed to add into the smoothies to make it even more healthy.

I guess my only complaint would be that it is too small.

New Correspondent Child

Yesterday I contacted Compassion International and requested another correspondent child (if they had a child who needed a correspondent sponsor).  I was told it could take a couple weeks for one to show up on my account.  But I just checked and happy to see that another precious child was added to my account!

Meet Valerio

Valerio is from Bolivia.  He looks so handsome, and I am excited for this opportunity to write to him.

And yes, I've already made word documents for him.  *giggle*

Matters of Family

This is on my heart.  And part of recovery/forgiveness process is confessing.

My father and I don't have a very close relationship anymore.  He abandoned my brother and I when we were kids.  Maybe abandon is too harsh a word, but when my mother and father got divorced.  He stopped coming around, and would only call or see us once every couple months.  My brother is still very upset with him, and we are a lot older now (16 or 17 years have passed). 

For many years I've been the dutiful daughter.  Always done what my father and my stepmother has asked.  Even though I don't feel comfortable or even wanted in that side of the family.  But at least (I thought) I was accepted by my stepmother.  And when I had kids, they've always included them.

Last year, my stepmother and I had a falling out.  I was sick, and forgot my father's birthday.  I really didn't know what day it was, I really thought it was still January.  I was on medication, and I just didn't remember.

His birthday fell on Super Bowl Sunday, I remember that day because everyone was talking about it.  But later that day he called me and our conversation went like this...

"Do you know what today is?"
"It's Super Bowl Sunday?"
"It's my birthday."
"Oh..."

I was stunned, because I always call my dad and wish him a "Happy Birthday", and etc.  And then, I was thinking, it's his birthday?  Already?

"I'm so sorry.  I've been sick, and I really didn't remember."

I apologized and as far as I knew, everything between my father and I was good.  We made plans to see each other that weekend.

The next day was Monday.

Not everything was okay, because my stepmother sent me some really nasty text messages.  They go along the lines of, "you're ungrateful, selfish, your father is better than you."  And more than that, but I'm trying to forgive and forget and not dwell on the past (very hard to be honest, especially when it's "family"). 

So a year went by.  Things are... uncomfortable.  To put it mildly.

I've been trying to smooth things over, but she ignores me.  I've given her hugs, probably forced myself on her to hug, but she still ignores me.  I've tried talking to her, but she avoids eye contact.  I went over there this past Easter, but was ignored by everyone there.  I did try to talk to them, I said "hello" when I got there, but they all talked over me.

For Mother's Day, I sent her a card and two really nice brooches.  My son helped me pick them out.  She sent a text message, "I got the gift. Thank you very much, you didn't have to get me anything."  I replied, "Happy Mother's Day."

I didn't deserve those things she said to me.  And I think most people would agree that I deserve an apology.  I really doubt I'll ever get one.  But, I forgive her.  Unforgiveness will poison your soul and your heart.

My father keeps telling me that I need to fix this.  I get real frustrated when he tells me that, because I have been trying to smooth things over.

Father's Day is coming up.  I texted my father and told him that I wanted to take him out for Father's Day.  Then I called him and asked him, expecting him to say no.  Because that has always been the answer before.  But he actually said yes.  I was SO blown away, and HAPPY.

But then, I started thinking.  What if he texts me and cancels.  What if he changes his mind?   What if he tells me (again) that he can't because he has to go to the "family" dinner with his wife and her family?

Is it so bad to just want one day to spend with my father and not everyone else?

Journey of Sponsor/Child Letter

Very interesting and informative video about a child's letter going to their sponsor.

I am amazed by the process.  So many letters!!  Such a great thing to help and have a special relationship with a child in another country.  The letters really make the difference.

Ready Now?

I'm not very patient.

Really not.  In some things, I am.  But in most things I really am NOT patient.

For example:  Friend of mine said we'd play a game "in a bit".  I asked an hour later, "when is 'in a bit'?".  I never got an answer.  And then 3 hours go by, nothing.  And then another 2 hours go by.

So I decided to put in a movie.

"Ready to play?" 

"Oh, now you wanna play? I just put in a movie because I thought you forgot about me again."

"............."

"You asked me to play 5 hours ago..."

"I said in a bit, but it's cool let me know when you're done."

"I'm not interested in watching the movie.  I only put it on because I wasn't doing anything.  Besides waiting."

And nothing.

I'm still waiting.

Oh.  Now, "I'm eating, be on in a second."

*sigh* 

Friend = red
Me = blue

*bangs head on desk*

God's Not Dead

Let love explode and bring the dead to life
A love so bold
To see a revolution somehow

Let love explode and bring the dead to life
A love so bold
To see a revolution somehow
Now I'm lost in Your freedom
In this world I'll overcome

My God's not dead
He's surely alive
He's living on the inside
Roaring like a lion [x2]

Roaring He's roaring roaring like a lion

Let hope arise and make the darkness hide
My faith is dead I need resurrection somehow
Now I'm lost in Your freedom
In this world I'll overcome

My God's not dead
He's surely alive
He's living on the inside
Roaring like a lion [x2]

Roaring He's roaring roaring like a lion
Roaring He's roaring

Let heaven roar and fire fall
Come shake the ground
With the sounds of revival [x3]

My God's not dead
He's surely alive
He's living on the inside
Roaring like a lion [x4]

He's Roaring He's roaring He's roaring like a lion [x2]

Some Saturdays

The kids and I spent the morning together, before my dad took them for a few hours.  We had a hot fudge sundae from Mcdonalds, went to the library and then we went to the Dollar Tree. 

I noticed something.

The first thing was they raised the price of the sundaes.  They used to be one dollar, but now they're a dollar fifteen.

The second thing was they made the sundae cups smaller.  I'm not totally sure, but it does look smaller.  Or rather shorter.  

To be perfectly honest.  Today was a bit challenging.

Being a single mother is hard.  I couldn't do this without God, and my family.

Tinkering

I was messing around with a photo site called pizap, and "made" this cover for my facebook page.  Didn't really do much, just picked a background and added a photo.  But it looks nice.  So I'm pleased with it.

Did you know if you have an unnamed facebook page and after a period of time Facebook will pick a name for you?  I didn't know that until recently.

Thinking Of You

So, I'm sitting here.  It's 12:17 in the morning.  That's technically Friday.  TGIF?

Yes!

I was just thinking, God is wonderful and amazing.  I'm not exactly sure when my brain finally flipped that switch of complete... something. What is that word?  I've not sure how to explain it.  But for years I've battled with depression, and other symptoms.

The depression (and other things) fog has finally lifted.  I finally understand what they mean when they say, God loves you.  I've always believed, but I didn't really understand until recently (a month or two ago?).  I realize I'm repeating myself, and saying "finally" a lot.

Please hear me. 

God's love is eternal.  God is faithful through everything, even if... especially if you're not.  He loves you.  Period.  It doesn't matter what you do.  God loves you.

You don't have to do great works.  You don't have to be the moral police.  

All you have to do is accept God's love for you.

Mowing, Allergies and Songs

I mowed the lawn today.  I really don't mind doing it, but I really don't like sneezing for hours after I'm done.

I was sneezing while I was mowing too.  And then I had a sneeze fit when I got done.  Feeling that tickling in your nose and waiting for the sneeze is sooooooooooooo... sucks.  There was a few times when I was waiting, and waiting, and waiting...

And waiting.

And then FINALLY.

I sneezed!!

The relief was amazing.  But it was short lived since I had to sneeze again.

It would be neat if someone would invent a lawn mower that played music instead of making that awful engine noise.  I was thinking about using my mp3 player, but I would have to turn it up really loud.  I really don't like loud things.  It would just hurt my ears.  So I was just "singing" music to myself... in my head.

I wouldn't sing out loud.  My singing voice isn't pretty.  And I don't know the words, so I usually just make up words.  (When I was in elementary school, I had a teacher that told us to substitute a word if we came across a word we couldn't pronounce the word.  She recommended "watermelon".  I still do that.)

God is amazing.

I'm A Nerd

Yup.  It's true.

I went to Walmart.  I was looking through the office section.  I've been looking at a couple different places, and Walmart is the cheapest place.

I bought a binder, some sheet protectors and some dividers.  I printed out a cover page, and some divider pages and etc.

I am a nerd.

Very nerdy.

The cover of my binder.  It looks so nice!

I have my letters, the general information Compassion International sent out to me when I first sponsored my compassion kids inside the binder.

I am eagerly waiting for my VERY first letter.  I am still deciding if I'm going to make a separate section for the letters I receive or just stick them with the letters I wrote. 

Very excited, and trying to be patient!!!

Bless The Lord

Listening to K-Love on my computer. 

The switch from secular music stations to a christian music station was easy.  For many years I've listened to CK 105.5.  Not a bad station, but the music seems to be getting worse as the days go by.  My son is 7, and he knows and understands a lot of words now.  He likes to sing along to the songs, and after REALLY listening to the lyrics.

They are awful!

I do not want that coming out of his mouth.  I was flipping through channels and found K-Love.  I know it was God leading me.  I didn't flip through a lot of channels, maybe one or two.

So thankful for K-Love, they reach many people in need.

Blessed

I've been blessed.

Yesterday, was Mother's Day, and I was blessed with some extra money.  There are some things I want to buy, but the thought of departing with that money for things I really don't need leaves me cold.

I do need to get gas.  Gas is so expensive and I spend so much money on gas.

There is a game I want to buy, but I really don't need it.  In fact, before I got the extra I made a decision to forgo the game and sponsor another child.  I haven't regretted that decision.

I was a little concerned about how this month would go because I live on a very limited and strict budget, but I knew God would somehow provide.

He did. :)

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day.

Today was very nice.  So tired right now tho, my body and brain are at war with each other.  Want to type so badly, but my fingers are rebelling!!!

We went to a Korean restaurant named Bi Bim Bab.  It is in Novi, Mi.  Great yummy delicious food.  So stuffed as well.  I need a nap.

Letter writing

I'm sitting at my desk looking at my word document.  What to write?  I have already sent two letters to this child.  I don't want him to EVER feel alone, but at the same time, I don't want to overwhelm him with so many letters. 

Also, I'm so uncomfortable right now.  I AM SO HOT.  Could this be early menopause?  I'm 31 years old and having hot flashes.  *insert sad face*

And another thought, I'm such a nerd.  I have word documents for everything.  Each child has their own documents, with pictures and other information.  One word document is the one I use for typing out letters, one word document I use keeping track when I sent payments and gifts, and when there's a withdrawal in my bank account.

*sigh*  Back to my typing.

Compassion International

Tomorrow will mark my one month "anniversary" with Compassion International.  It amazes me that I already have three sponsorships and one correspondent sponsorship.  I meant to start with one, and slowly add two more.  But I felt God leading me to sponsor them all.


I will post more about them later.

New Beginnings

I've had a blog off and on for some years.  And it seems like EVERYONE has a blog now.  It's a common thing.  But anyway...

The first one, it was after my separation with my ex-husband, and I wrote about it.  But then I deleted everything because he kept stalking my blog (and I really have no idea how he got the site address, probably one of my so-called "friends") and would rant at me about every post I made. 

And I had another one... and for various reasons I stopped logging in and posting.  And another one.. and the same after that.

So, this is a new beginning.

Cheers.